So tmrw then. If everything works right. Tmrw I’m throwing all caution into the wind and facing up to it. Life isn’t always smooth sailing but we make conscious decisions each day that determine where we are going despite the obstacles that may come our way. God is moulding us silently and without us knowing so we just have to place our trust in him.
I trust you Lord.
Today I’m failing miserably at this. Just today. I promise.
Lately everything has been about this. This whatever this is. I know it’s never easy. And maybe I’m over simplifying it. But really, I don’t know. It’s messing w me. I’m tired. And I just want to not have it playing around in my head. Constantly having it at the back of my mind. It’s just making me really dysfunctional. And that’s crap.
But if there’s one thing I shld be really happy about its that I have the world’s sweetest friends. Truly. My IJ loves. My babe all the way in the US who even w the stupid time zone issues still manages to try and keep me sane. And my Bro of course, ever sweet and reassuring -telling me that life’s gonna get better. I love you all.
Sighhh. My gut has never failed me and looks like it’s proved itself yet again. I’m not a 100% certain but it’s good enough for me. At least I think it is. Oh Wells. Never harboured much hope. And even if my heart let my head think/feel it. Somewhere deep down I knew. Too good to be true. Goodbye then. I have one month to say goodbye. Might not be such a bad thing after all then. Just wish I was able to get it off my chest instead of having to swallow it back down now. It’s a really sick in the stomach feeling. Don’t like it. Never have. And you never get used to this feeling no matter how many times and scenarios life puts you through.
How do I tell you everything I feel without pushing you away?
One day down, 30 more to go.
How is it possible for me to miss you even when you’re w me?
It’s going to be a tough month ahead. And the months after would be even worst. I don’t want to think about them.
Good morning March. I think I need some time to warm up to you because February is one of my favourite months in a year and it just flew by.